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కొంతమంది వారికి వచ్చిన భాషలను చక్కగా మాట్లాడుతారు. కానీ, రాత విషయానికి వస్తే మాత్రం దారుణమైన పొరపాట్లు చేస్తుంటారు. ఇక్కడి సంభాషణలోనూ ఇదే ప్రధానమైన అంశం. ఇంగ్లిష్‌ చక్కగా మాట్లాడే ఓ విద్యార్థి రాతదగ్గరికి వచ్చే సరికి ఈవ్‌టీజింగ్‌ను ఈవ్‌టీచింగ్‌ అని, సింటాక్స్‌ను సింటెక్స్‌గా, బీటెన్‌ను బిటెన్‌గారాశాడు. ఆ విద్యార్థి తప్పులను ఓ ఉపాధ్యాయుడు మొట్టికాయలు వేస్తూ మరీ సరిదిద్దుతున్నాడు.చక్కగా మాట్లాడటమే కాదు… తప్పులు లేకుండా రాయగలగడమూ గొప్ప విషయమే!
Teacher: See this. ‘Burn in a poor family, he rose to riches.’
Student: That’s a fact, sir. I get inspiration from him.
Teacher: See what you’ve written!
Student: ‘Is teaching a crime?’
Teacher: Have you gone mad?
Student: Is it a punishable crime?
Teacher: What’s wrong with you?
Student: I mean eve-teaching.
Teacher: That’s what I don’t like about you.
Student: May I know what you don’t like about me, sir?
Teacher: You speak well, but you write horribly.
Student: My sintex or spelling, sir?
Teacher: Don’t say sintex. Say syntax.
Student: Syntax. Thank you, sir.
Teacher: Your spelling is appalling, horrendous, shameful, inexcusable. &
Student: Is it so bad, sir?
Teacher: Awful, dreadful, scandalous, ghastly, hideous &
Student: Come back to the crime of eve-teaching, sir.
Teacher: It is eve-teasing. Yes, it’s a crime.
Student: Any more devils in my write-up, sir?
Teacher: See this sentence. ‘The supreme court has raped the state government.’
Student: Yes, sir. The court has raped the state government over failure of law and order.
Teacher: Not raped. The court has rapped the state government.
Student: My God! Hope there are no more spelling errors, sir.
Teacher: No more mistakes? Your write-up is infested with them.
Student: Please point them out, sir.
Teacher: What have you written here?
Student: ‘The suspected culprit was bitten in the police lock-up.’
Teacher: Like stray dogs and wolves?
Student: No, sir. Like a hero against a villain, or a minister against a protester.
Teacher: Your theme is superb but your spelling is torturous.
Student: How, sir?
Teacher: You should write‘The culprit was beaten in the police lock-up.’
Student: Any more, sir?
Teacher: See this. ‘Burn in a poor family, he rose to riches.’
Student: That’s a fact, sir. I get inspiration from him.
Teacher: Can’t you say,‘Born in a poor family &?’
Student: You’ve opened my eyes, sir. What’s the short cut to learning spelling?
Teacher: There’s no short cut. You can learn spelling only by writing.
Student: But I am already writing, am I not?
Teacher: Not creative writing. Copy writing.
Grape- rape- ape
Kamal: A puzzle for you.
Vani: I’m ready to take it.
Kamal: It contains molestation and a monkey. What’s it?
Vani: Please give me a clue.
Kamal: It’s a lexicon item.
Vani: One more clue, please.
Kamal: It’s a word. The monkey’s tail is missing.
Vani: Sorry, I can’t solve it.
Kamal: Grape!
-సూర్యారావు ఎం.వి
వివేకానంద ఇన్‌స్టిట్యూట్‌ ఆఫ్‌ లాంగ్వేజెస్‌,
రామకృష్ణ మఠం.
